Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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