party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
