Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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