12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
