...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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