is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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