so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
