Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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