I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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