I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
