We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
