Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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