It's Friday. Sex?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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