I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
