when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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