She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
