gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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