At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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