im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
