Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
