TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
