Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
