Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
