That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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