When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
