before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
