I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
you made out with another girl for some wings
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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