lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
