my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
