Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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