He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
