We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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