just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
