wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
