Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
should my penis look like a turkey
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm like, not good at living.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
