Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
