I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
