He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
