dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize