Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize