He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
