: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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