My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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