one two three fourrrrnication!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
just tell him i said nine months
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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