The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
well you can't waste a boner
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
