P.S. I can't hear my feet
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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