you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
