Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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