I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
