If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize