he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
