Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
