i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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