Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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