I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
