I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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