(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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