Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
