Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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