I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
