And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
