we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
